A tale I need to tell WARNING VERY LONG

I'm going to tell the story of my back... It's long but I need to get it out, because... It has left us almost a year that we couldn't try to get PG... and right now that is making me sad & angry....


May 2009

I had been working at Rocky Mountain Chocolate since sept 2008 at this point, I was one of the cooks, lifting, bending & whatnot, the pot alone is 25 lbs.... add in the ingredients ansd you are looking at over 50lbs easily... & lil me handiling it..... We will never know for sure, but this is how I believe my back injury occured...


It started with pain in my right hip, in the joint, odd spot I know.... you would think.. what does that have to do with my back... but it was a weird symptom.

For a while, every so often I was getting a shotting pain in the hip, it would only last for a second then go away, by May 9th it was a different story, we were over at J's house for her birthday. The pain was alot more frequent, almost constant & it hurt like a BITCH !! It felt like someone was putting a hot poker thru my hip joint. It got so bad that night Cork took me to the ER, now before this ( a few days earlier) we went to the walk-in urget care near home, the DR thought it was bursitus ....But like I was saying.. Cork ended up taking me to the ER.. They did an x-ray of my pelvic reigon, it came back clear, the DR gave me a Percocet & sent us home, the percocet barely touched the pain... but eventually it faded away.

The day after... I woke up & went to get out of bed.. an realized that my right leg, from the knee down was numb & tingly... I FREAKED !! We went back over to the walk in clinic, the DR wanted us to go to the ER angain & get a CT scan, he thought maybe my sciatic nerve was being pinched, he also sent in a referal to a nerologist (Dr K)
So off the ER again we went...
They checked me out ... No CT scan thou :/ just some meds & a form to get my family Dr to fill out for aN MRI....

Went & saw Dr W (family Dr) she agreed with them for the time being & said if I got worse to go to the ER. *** note for next time go to am ER that has an nero on call... things will go faster...***

June 2009

At this point I could not walk unaided without a walker... YEAH this sucks large...
haven't been able to even work since mid May...

Finally had the appointment to see Dr K.. She is fierce & intimidating, she pulls no punches & tells it straight, she wants nerve testing done ASAP, and is glad to hear that Iwas getting my MRI done that night ... she wants to see the results ASAP ....

So I see her again a week later for the nerve tests, she suspects a blockage somewhere... waiting to see the MRI..

All the results come back & Dr K wants to see me.... Cork comes with me to the appointment, we go in & sit down... She says that I need surgery... It looks as if my spinal cord is being compressed by a ruptured disc.. WTF ???
She refers me to see Dr S.....

July 2009

I meet with Dr S... He's an older Dr but very well recognized in his field & very nice, He agrees with Dr K's assessment that I need surgery and SOON, he walks me & Cork through everything, the Pro's & Con's... The risks, and everything that would be involved, we leave his office with a surgery date... July 21st, 3 weeks away, most people wait months... This tells you how serious it was....

He said the worst outcome would be paralysis from the waist down, and if we waited, it would become more compressed & I would end up lossing bladder & bowel function.
Best case would be limited nerve damage to my feet.
We asked him about getting pregnant.. he said to wait until 6 months after surgery...

I went & did all my pre-op stuff & tried to breath....

At this point I had kept work updated as to what was going on... They didn't seem to give a SHIT !!!

The night before surgery, I tried to sleep but couldn't.. At this point I was sleeping on the couch, it was more comfortable, Cork had go to bed, and I started to cry, it then turned into hysterical sobbing. I was so scared... Of the surgery it self & the outcome ( irational fear that I was going to end up paralyzed and Cork would leave me ) & thinking I was going to die... He heard me & came out and hugged me tight & talked to me until I finally fell asleep....

We got up early on July 21st to head to the hospital, My dad came with us, and J met us there a little later, my mom came after I went in, as she had school & cloudn't miss it.

While getting checked in, one of the admissions clerks actually was someone I went to highschool with. While siting in the waiting room, waiting to be called in, we saw a somewhat familar face... Our cousin's husband's brother & mom, the were there to see her husband as he had just had surgery... What a small world.

Cork was able to hang out with me in the pre-op waiting room up until it was time for me to go into the OR.....

The surgery lasted longer than Dr S thought it would take, that and apparently they had a really hard time waking me up...

I spent 3 weeks in the Hospital....Now the fun starts....
I spent the first week & a half in a drug induced haze.. I remeber few things... I remember K & S coming to visit, along with Zia A,T & N, T's inlaws also stopped in.
I switched units 3 different times, I was on Nero, Spine and then finally Rehab.

I vagely remeber one night (atleast i think it was night..)Cork was there and a nice nurse washed my hair,(I felt grotty)

They got me to sit up at some point... Pain... then the best was the first time they had me sit up on my own & have my legs on the side of the bed & tried to get me to stand up... HOLY HELL.... my feet felt like they were on fire...

This was the starting process of getting me mobile.. & had to get a nurse to help be to get out of bed & on a walker to the washroom, not a very fun experince let me tell ya... You loss all dignity pretty fast...

My last week in the hospital was both good and hell....
Good because I was getting mobile, and finally able to go to the washroom by my self.. and was sarted on the physical therapy part (even if it was somewhat crappy & lame) 2 x a day for 1/2 an hour each time. I had a few more visits that I clearly remember, J & F,R, Zia M, Cork , mom, dad & a,and My MIL and phone calls !

The hell.... I had to have a nurse help me shower.... I was getting bored & I wanted to GO THE HELL HOME !!! I just wqanted to be home with Cork & the cats....

They finally released me to go home, I was so happy I cried...

Then the hard work begins.....

I will tell that part another day...

Laughing

At my sister....
the closing on their house is July 23...
Their firt purchases??? a lawn mower & BBQ.... LOL
They kill me !

The one sad thing about this weekend.... we should be celebrating a first birthday ...

Sigh......

Hummm

Not sure about things today....

The boad that I am always on, is having issues...to get a new Mod or not as the Mod is KU and from what I have seen, never checks in (she says she lurks) but in the 12+ week I haven't seen a peep from her & a few other ladies that graduated.... It kinda sucks...

One of them is on my facebook & got married while I was in Mexico.. I sent her a nice congrat message by PM before we left.. She never responded.....:/

But Katie did have Gabe on tuesday after meeting me... he is so sweet...

One day there will be one of my own.... I just hope it's sooner rather than later.

The SIS & BIL bought a house !!!!!! it will be their first one ! Hopefully we will get to go see it this week-end, I am so stoked for them.....

Ahh Mexico...

Just got back from a week at The Grand Sunset Princess in the Riviera Maya..... It was a great week.... Drank lots, swam in the ocean, ate lots....

I even got to meet a fellow Bumpie.... Katie, you really are a sweetheart.

I got a decent tan, nothing too major, but def. better than my normal pasty white...

I love the vibe of Playa Del Carmen, the mix of old and new, the resort was huge, the room great and the staff was amazing.

** I think I may have even "O"ed while there... I couldn't tell ya for sure cuz temping on vacation = FAIL, LOL ***

Maybe if we were lucky we brought a sovenier home.....

Vacation Time !

So I have finally jumped into the blog pool......

This will be a whole lot of rambling about different things...... Life, TTCing after the loss, and my obsession with traveling....

My name is Michelle , I am married to a wonderful guy names Courtland otherwise known as Cork.... right now we have 2 fur babies, Bella & Moe.

We are leaving Monday for Mexico, We will be staying near Playa Del Carmen... I can't wait, I frequent The bump alot, and while we are there I hope to meet up with 2 fellow bumpies... Squared and Katie.... I can't wait.

That's all for my first post !